Old, Liver-Damaging Times

me: haha man you were DRUNK
no, you wanted to get on the train in the direction we just came on the L
googlyga: Hahahaha. Em....sorry!
Hey, don't lord it over me TOO much, ms. This white wine tastes like water...

Hysteria

me: lol
sounds like a teenage conversation
Ugly: it is
it is!!!
i feel like a total bitch right now
i feel bitchy

------------------------------
18 minutes later

Ugly: pay attention to me!
stop watching tv
BLAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Fooding

Shannon: Do you know that the meat they serve in a McDonald's is Grade E meat?
Shane: Grade E. coli

-----------------------------------------

Shane: So one of my friends one time would prank call people and he'd say: "Hi, I'd like a pizza with mushrooms and pepperoni please?" Then the person on the other side of the phone would be like "Uh, sorry this isn't a pizzeria" then he'd say, "Oh okay, well then your large pizza will be there in 20 minutes." And the person would be like whaa? Wait they dialed the wrong number and now I'm getting a pizza delivered?

The Enforcer

Shannon: So one time we were at the mall, and Shane had Spencer over his shoulders and was asking him things like, "Who do you love?" And Spencer would say "DADDY!" "Who's the greatest?" "DADDY!" And Shane saw that people were now looking at him, so he started showing off. "Who's the most fun?!" "DADDY!" "Who's the best?" "DADDY!" Then: "Who's the king?!" "MOMMY!!!!"

Shane: Bwahaha, yeah and I was like, um, let's start this over again...

¨This one is really old and doesn´t work really well, but it was the only one we wanted.¨

Anita: We once went to this shisha place in Hong Kong that had rats, blah blah...
Mabel: Are they really popular there in Hong Kong?
Anita: What? Rats? Or shisha?

--------------------------------------------

Anita: Hm, there´s no smoke. It doesn´t seem to be working.
Mabel: I think it just needs to get going more. It worked the last two times we did this.
Anita: Maybe it gets like even older after the first two times.

Negotiating Powers

Cristina: So did you talk to Enrique yet?
Mabel: No, not yet.
Cristina: ::gesturing curves:: Haha...you must come more sexy.
Mabel: Bahaha, yes. Tomorrow.

GRAH

Ugly: geez
someone is a hungry grouch
me: i'm just sick and tired of waiting around
Ugly: maybe bad reception
me: plus it's been a long day
right, bad reception
Ugly: come on! skype
me: no
Ugly: me ronery
me: i'm tired
Ugly: just eat your dinner and go to bed
me: ok gonna eat dinner now
Ugly: i'm hungry too
gonna eat too
::Mabel is disconnected and has not received your message::
Ugly: fine. we'll just eat separately in our own lonely apartments, connected only by the thin web of the web

Tiger explosion

Ping: It's thunderstorming here
Allison: Really? That sucks! It's really sunny here.
Ping: It sounds like a tire just exploded outside of my door.
Allison: You saw a tire explode outside your door?

Retelling the story of how I thought a tire exploded outside Ping's door to Helene.
Helene: You said you saw a tiger explode? Whoa

5 minutes later in the conversation...
Allison: You have to feel my sister's arms it's sooo soft!
Ping: Yeah i want to feel it but you know you're really building this up so it better be soft
Allison: what building?
Ping: hahha Are you serious? You're dumber when you're at home

tomayto, tomahtoh

JD: {speaking french in an egregious accent}
googly: you sound such a dirty french man
bun: wait...did you just say he sounds like dirty fried chicken?