At the Jazz Fest

Ugly: I wish they would play something I knew.

Bub: [as a beat starts] Well...maybe they will.

[raucous, poor quality jazz music is in full swing]

Bub: You mean....this ISN'T your favorite song?

Ugly: Bwahahaha...I usually like hearing my songs played one at a time....not all together like this. It's like all the musicians just happen to be onstage at the same time... "Ooh, you're here too. Ooh, I like what you're playing. What is it?"

------------------------------------

Bub: Doesn't the pianist look like Bette Porter?

Ugly: I guess I can see the resemblance.

Bette Porter look-alike: And now we have a surprise for you, ladies and gentlemen.

Bub: Ooh, she has a surprise.

Ugly: [sultrily] Ooh, I have a surprise for you...I'm going to show you mah boobies.

Killer Margaritas

Mel: They were banging on our door trying to come in, but good thing we locked the door. Then they left after a bit. We thought they were going to come rape and pillage us.

Ugly: What is the exact meaning of pillage?

Bub: Like, to steal and burn stuff.

Liz: To destroy everything.

Mel: [gets mango gruel in her nose from laughing]

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Ugly: [to Mel] I could see you as Garfield.

Cat and Mouse

Before cover of "Survivor"

Liz: So, just so you all know, I don't sing like Beyonce, but I'm gonna be attempting it anyway.
Mel: And I sing like the band member whose name no one knows.

After cover of "Survivor"

Mel: So I'm using a cheat sheet today because we had to lower it a half step, cuz Liz was saying how Beyonce was "tearin' her shit up..."

::while starting the next song::

Liz: ::sing sing, voice strangles:: bitch Beyonce....::sing sing::

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At the Chicago Art Institute photo exhibit

Mabel: Dude that looks like it got cut out from a magazine from some hair salon in Chinatown.

Ugly: Haha, yeah...I don't know how some of these got in here, other than they were famous...for something else.

But I am le tired..

Me: le boo
Allison: le ahhh

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Ugly: So we're thinking of having a barbecue on the lake front for labor day.
Me: Wait, you have a barbecue machine?

Or Claritin

Fernando: eyy, y tú has cambiado la foto
jajaaja
un poco cursi, no?

Yo: noooo
no es cursi!

Fernando: jajajaja

Yo: me gusta....

Fernando: un poco sí
la chica de las flores....

Yo: vale vale

Fernando: parece un anuncio de compresas

------------------

Fernando: Heyy, you've changed your photo
hahaha
a bit cheesy, no?

Me: noooo! it's not cheesy! i like it.

Fernando: a bit yeah
the flower girl

Me: Okay, okay

Fernando: looks like a commercial for sanitary napkins

Bun-isms

on MIKA:

vanessa: "If we go to one of his concerts, I will slap the gay out of him."

--------------------------------
overheard at the office:

gagan: "It's really hot right now."
bun: "I think you're just talking a lot."

Spoons and Compasses

Ugly: let's play spoon game

Yo: LOL
on the internet.

Ugly: yes
my spoon says "get bub"
how bout yours?

Yo: it says "ugly is lame."

Ugly: lol
oh
i thought it was going to say "get ugly"

Yo: haha um
"get ugly a life."

Ugly: oh oh
look, now it says
"who's the broke one at home downloading free music?"

Yo: LOL
humph.

Ugly: hey wouldn't it be funny if they invented a loser compass?
it would tell you who the losers are
hey why does mine always point at me?
it's broken.
am i talking to myself?

Yo: hahahahaha
mine always points northwest, apparently

Ugly: stay away from that direction!

Yo: yes, and keep all others there

----------------------------

Allison:[with all heated conviction] He IS selfish and egotistical! I mean, he was going to give us up in the spoon game!!!