on beer

said in the laura voice:
it's called "smithick's"... but, there's a 'w' in there because ireland is amazing

Keira Nightly in "Atonement"

Julietta: "I'm shho angry, I'm turning into Sssean Connery."

pianochic6: someone with the screenname 'jesusbroughtlove' just IMed me
ablefires658: lmao
pianochic6: its my friend from school
pianochic6: considering its christmas
pianochic6: i'll ask him another day
pianochic6: about the screenname

-------

pianochic6: oh wait speaking of you screwing around
pianochic6: you look gorgeous!

M: Man, my nose is so itchy.
Allison: It's red.
M: Is it sparkly?

-------

M: How do these earrings look?
Allison: Horrible, now give them over.

-------

M: "We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the...something..."
Julietta: As the sea!
M: Oh, as the sea! But that makes no sense.
Julietta: Yeah, what the hell!! The sea's always changing.
-------

holiday shopping

my dad on steve and barry's:

"amazing; it's just like the dollar store! of clothes."

National Geo Cowboys

M: Ooh, I really love this picture. Except I don't like the shirt. Or the swirly scarf.
Megan: Or anything about him.

-------

M: He looks like a Mexican version of Johnny Depp.
Megan: He looks like Frida Kahlo.
M: Oh, I didn't see that part of his face.

Courtesy of the New York Times:

“And so, it’s like I said about the presidency,” Mr. Bush went on. “People in America, you know, like the presidency, and sometimes they like the president. Get it?”

Ugly: omg
some funny shit on that blog
me: hahaha
Ugly: i figured it out
me: figured what out
Ugly: since you must be "me", then i must be "ugly"
me: lmao
congratulations

Megan: "I sell you faw ferty dollah you come back tomorrow I close down!"
M: Man, your Chinese accent is worse than my Indian one.

Finals Marathon

M: So where are you up to now?
Megan: I'm on part one of Muscles.
M: Then what's next? 2, 3, then Disease?
Megan: Yes.

me:
i just submitted an application to the creative writing major today
Ugly: maybe you can become a poet laureate when u grow up
me: well it's the concentration within the english major
haha
Ugly: you hadn't declared a major yet?
me: i did, but the creative writing concentration is specific
3:14 PM Ugly: poet laureate is a concentration?
me: haha yes i can become poet laureate once i get my concentration
=D

The Best of the 90's Song List and Office Nerds

m: so did u win that list contest yet ?
Ugly: not officially since 2 of the guys in it are at a conference in seattle all week and being the slackers they are, they didn't vote before they left


me: so did u win the 90's list?
1:42 PM Ugly: no we haven't finished judging yet
which reminds me, i need to cast my vote
Ugly: :) it's all a democracy here
1:43 PM me: such serious work going on

-------

Ugly: oh interesting
no there are a lot of filipinos here
me: haha really
Ugly: yea and marie's related to most of them

-------

me: yes, cuz they're like classic
and part of my hateful childhood
3:39 PM Ugly: geez, i never knew your childhood was so hateful

-------

Ugly: and i try, oh my god i try, i try all the time in the institution
mom even knows that song

-------

me: yeahhhh
i told my toac lub story to other people
they weren't that amused
Ugly: lol
me: and i was just laughing
Ugly: you were the only
me: yeah pretty much

-------

Childhood...

me:
3:36 PM hey by the way..hehe i'm taking this poetry workshop and we had to do an on-assignment writing on "childhood"
so i wrote about...
Ugly: uh oh
not me again
me: HAHAHAH
3:37 PM remember that time we went to like...sam's club or whatever, and it was like the 2nd time we were there to look at bikes
and then mom and dad were like..eh, next time...then u started crying all of a sudden, then i started crying
and we were being all whiny
then they finally bought them for us
3:38 PM Ugly: lol
me: that was so weird and funny
do u remember that?
3:39 PM Ugly: yes, i feel embarassed whenever that comes to mind
me: haha really??
Ugly: i was like in 8th grade or something
me: u were in high school
Ugly: and i'm crying over a toy
oh shut up
me: hehehee
Ugly: how can u remember?
3:40 PM me: cuz i remember being kinda surprised
Ugly: lol
me too
me: then of course i'm like, i'm gonna cry too
Ugly: lol
well i wanted one for so long
i felt deprived at that moment

-------

Ugly: hehe
do u remember when you were really little and i told you i could call the monsters if you didn't do what i told you to?
me: hahahahaha really??
no i don't
Ugly: yea we were still in the old aptmt
me: was i scared
Ugly: yea and you'd be like, Noooo!
me: LOL
Ugly: lol...i'd pretend to go to the window and start calling them
me: HAHAHHAHAHA
Ugly: and you were scared
me: "monsters, ahoy....monsters"

-------

Ugly: neat
that's cool, she must've felt loved
3:01 PM me: yeah she did
and she didn't get too drunk which was good
3:02 PM Ugly: really, what caused that?
me: self restraint
and water drinking
Ugly: wow, she MUST be getting old
me: heheh
she's 30!
Ugly: yea
i'm right behind her
3:03 PM me: dun dun dun......!
Ugly: AHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!!!
me: LMAO
Ugly: (runs screaming from the room)

-------

me: and then on friday i was supposed to go out with my suite mate toa c lub...
Ugly: toac
that's a nice name
toac lub
LOL
....
me: see ya!
Ugly: tell toac lub i said hi
Ugly: she sounds like a nice girl

-------

m: can't sleep
gonna bother you
Ugly: it's daytime
Ugly: you dont have to sleep

-------

Ugly: uh ok
there are 76 mabel lees world wide
but you were like 2nd or 3rd on list
me: hee hee
i know cuz i'm cool
Ugly: oh is that why
let me check out #76 then

------

Ugly: yea
she actually read the book
Ugly: if we continue this book club, she may have to start counting on 2 hands the number of books she's read.

Ugly: yea
2:35 PM looks like a guy from my grade at hr
a little bit
2:36 PM me: hehehe
which guy?
he has great hair i must say
2:37 PM Ugly: calvin ng
Ugly: remember him?
me: i kinda rememdber him
2:38 PM Ugly: he had similar apelike features to his facial structure and his hair was frizzy, got poofed when he didn't cut it, and definitely had potential to be a fro

more from the days of yore

Shane: I outlined your head.

-------

FatWhiteKid 264: hey mabes
ablefires 658: ng hard
ablefires 658: LMAO
FatWhiteKid 264: LOL
FatWhiteKid 264: omfg
FatWhiteKid 264: I don't even want to know what you were talking about
ablefires 658: lmfao
FatWhiteKid 264: man oh man
ablefires 658: hahahah
ablefires 658: it was supposed to be
ablefires 658: "stop breathing hard"
ablefires 658: which isn't any better

-------

v ee2604: so i was listening
v ee2604: and
v ee2604: your brahms intermezzo
v ee2604: and the third mvt of the brahms bflat piano concero
v ee2604: are like
v ee2604: the same thing
v ee2604: well
v ee2604: they start off
v ee2604: exactly the same
v ee2604: slightly different rythmn but same notes

-------

on my twin....

ol EagleS lo: I was also thinking
ol EagleS lo: she doesn't have your smile
ol EagleS lo: she's like
ol EagleS lo: hi im depresssed 4 lyfe
ol EagleS lo: you're like
ol EagleS lo: GUAHHAUHAUHAUHUAUAHUAHUAHUAH FEAR MY HORSE LAUGH

Megan and RA placements: "Oh, we’re sorry, you’re actually working with first-years in the basement of MSM.”

-------

June: I don’t care about my liver. I care about lab!

-------

M: "Yeah, can I get my Spring sticker...from last year?”
M: “Yeah, I need some validation in my life.”

-------

Megan: Once I convinced a girl that it was cool to put gum all over yourself, like in your hair and under your arms.

-------

Megan: Ok, if you’re gonna come in here and expect sex, you’re gonna have to be my face book friend.

-------

Auto response from FatWhiteKid 264: Where a kid can be a kid, Mabel will be right there to help.

-------

FatWhiteKid 264: you should just make a xanga called BUB'S TALKS WITH SHANE

-------

vitamin isgood4u: what're you doing right now
v ee2604: i'm having sex
v ee2604: that was mabel
vitamin isgood4u: ooh, who're you having sex with
v ee2604: my teddy bear cornelius
v ee2604: yes, i have a teddy bear
vitamin isgood4u: i know that,i was there
v ee2604: i'm hiding it from brian
vitamin isgood4u: he has a space suit
v ee2604: he has more than a space suit
v ee2604: he has a birthday suit


-------

pianochic6: sounds like a kind of pasta
ablefires 658: yeah like penne
ablefires 658: wait wait
ablefires 658: so have u seen the penii?

-------

ablefires 658: u need a map
ablefires 658: good directions
ablefires 658: a parking place
FatWhiteKid 264: lol
FatWhiteKid 264: and to sacrifice to god before i leave

-------

FatWhiteKid 264: okay mam
FatWhiteKid 264: just how many people do you have in your room?
ablefires 658: well
ablefires 658: there was a million ppl
ablefires 658: first me and michelle were snuggling on the bed
ablefires 658: then veeshal joined, and it was a minority pile
ablefires 658: then 3 white men joined
ablefires 658: and it was painful
FatWhiteKid 264: sounds like how this world evolved

-------

v ee2604: remind me every once in a while
v ee2604: that plutonic love is still love
ablefires 658: platonic love
ablefires 658: aw
v ee2604: i love you little buddy
ablefires 658: i'm not little
ablefires 658: or a buddy
v ee2604: ok well i love you large overweight friend

-------

ablefires 658: i love the smell of laundry
ablefires 658: it's very sexy
v ee2604: i know you do
ablefires 658: how do u know?
v ee2604: um
v ee2604: you come in my room and sniff my dryer sheets

-------

FatWhiteKid 264: I need to pack a lunch tomorrow
FatWhiteKid 264: for the way up there
FatWhiteKid 264: I'll put this money in my bag
ablefires 658: lmao
ablefires 658: u remind me of bilbo baggins

-------

ablefires 658: but i love u!!!
ablefires 658: don't leave me!!!
FatWhiteKid 264: oh
FatWhiteKid 264: okay
FatWhiteKid 264: in that case
FatWhiteKid 264: let's have that child we were talking about

-------

FatWhiteKid 264: watch
FatWhiteKid 264: I'll convince you
FatWhiteKid 264: by like
FatWhiteKid 264: next week
ablefires 658: convince me what?!
ablefires 658: i'm convinced!
FatWhiteKid 264: that we're going to have babies by like june, it's decided
ablefires 658: ok!
ablefires 658: june
ablefires 658: 17th
ablefires 658: i will have a child
FatWhiteKid 264: with me, that's awesome
ablefires 658: ok
ablefires 658: but no
ablefires 658: i have to HAVE the child
ablefires 658: meaning
ablefires 658: give birth
FatWhiteKid 264: wait
FatWhiteKid 264: dude
FatWhiteKid 264: I want to help
ablefires 658: LMAO
FatWhiteKid 264: it won't be premature or anything

-------

ablefires 658: ur sad face is funny
ablefires 658: it's like
ablefires 658: ultra sad
ablefires 658: =(
v ee2604: that's cause i am ultra sad

-------

FatWhiteKid 264: hey my young lady!
ablefires 658: hello young homo lad

-------

ablefires 658: talk to you teatime
ablefires 658: that's what it really means
FatWhiteKid 264: and of course
FatWhiteKid 264: the first one mabel finds is retarded and makes no sense

-------

ol EagleS lo: I can't replace the mabel late night chat
ablefires 658: yeah u can't
ablefires 658: the late night chat's that go like
ablefires 658: "hello"
ablefires 658: and then 10 min. later
ablefires 658: "hi"
ablefires 658: and then
ablefires 658: "gargle"

-------

ol EagleS lo: they're like
ol EagleS lo: man this girl is drop dead sexy, I must find out more
ol EagleS lo: so they click your subprofile
ol EagleS lo: then they click your xanga and see conversations about ducks molesting people and snuggling and get scared

Verma the Vermin

Flo: Hey Megan, has anyone ever called you "Verma the Vermin?"
Megan: No. Flo.
Flo: lol, ok ok, sheesh, it's a sense of humor, Megan, find one. Jk. Jk.
Megan: It's called originality, Ms. Fourth Grade

M: Bahia de Cochinos.
Megan: Pages...of..Food?
M: Bay of Pigs.

"100 paper clips.....1 cigarette."

the nagging housewife

Megan: look, you dropped that big piece of chicken! (points to table)
and why are you wearing those pants again??!

From when we were young and care-free and knew not the horrors that awaited us:

Megan: If there’s food in that bag, I’m gonna eat it.
M: Mm no, it’s just more bag.
Megan: She’s holding a bag with the statue of liberty holding a bag with the statue of liberty on it. And there’s a banana in there somewhere.

-------

M: Is she Irish or just magical?

-------

Megan: You look stone beyond all hell.
M: I wasn’t stoned. I was just dropping science.
-------

Megan: Why is King Kong here, in the middle of New York City?”
M: Yeah, I know. He’s weird.

-------

M: To men! And Shane.

-------

Courtesy of Kirstin: "Put. That. Away.

-------


M: O my god, I’m gonna kill myself.
Megan: Ok, I’ll lay off on the g words.

M: Gall bladder.
Megan: Not ‘do you have a gall bladder,’ but just ‘are you a gall bladder.’

"Gun-toting.”
“God. Just God.”
“Steak-eating.”
“Umm...steak.”
“Soy sauce smashing.”
“Rancid.”

Megan: Now, it’s your turn June.
June: It doesn’t seem like…they’re good traits.

-------

Megan: How old was he?
M: I don’t know.
Megan: Well how old did he look? "I dunno."

-------

Megan: Oh, it’s pretty. It’s like Marie Antoinette. Except with a green sweater instead of hair.


-------

M: Why does this not look right?
Megan: Because there are buffalos on it.

-------

FatWhiteKid 264 (3:05:40 AM): you're not a laughing matter
ablefires 658 (3:06:25 AM): nities
FatWhiteKid 264 (3:06:29 AM): your nuclear storage device isn't a laughing matter either, it's badass

-------

Megan: Oh, I dunno about his souuul patch.
M: What?
Megan: Souuul patch...no honey, that’s his crown of thorns.

-------

Hillary and mosquito: I can’t believe you wanted to lock me outside with that thing!

-------

M: So there was this ancient Egyptian Queen, Akasha, you know, who was, like, dozens of years old.

-------

Megan: What did you say? Sorry, I was too busy hitting on you to notice.

-------

Megan: You might need it to gouge someone's eye out. Or take out a staple.

-------

Shane: you need to learn to be more compassionate with things, you pushed that mofo too hard
M: lol
it was messed up!
Shane: yeah, it had a physical disability, and you pushed it hard anyway
no wonder it almost died
M: lmao
Shane: freaking jerk
man, I sure hope I don't come down with some chronic disorder
like you know, gagging when I eat peas and carrots
EAT YOUR VEGGIES, JESUS, EAT YOUR VEGGIES
M:hahaha
Shane: freaking jerk

-------

Megan: ‘Rebanar.’ To slice.
Me: That doesn’t sound anything like slice.
Megan: Oh. My apologies. I will consult the makers of this language immediately.

-------

Cherian: Oh, well. I’m just saying. If you know, among your wide array of friends, anyone who knows computers. There are the football players, basketball players...computer geeks.

Nicole: She likes the artsy musician types.

Cherian: Oh. Close enough.

-------

Pavo iratus (2:56:42 AM): woman
Pavo iratus (2:56:45 AM): wo. man.
Pavo iratus (2:56:48 AM): grr
Pavo iratus (2:56:50 AM): where are all the men?
Pavo iratus (2:56:57 AM): maybe i should walk around nekkid

-------

ablefires 658 (12:03:22 AM): i'm sure it won’t look THAT weird
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:03:27 AM): lol
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:03:28 AM): it would
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:03:37 AM): I'm tellin you
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:03:39 AM): it's like a fake tent
ablefires 658 (12:05:01 AM): lol
ablefires 658 (12:05:05 AM): oh no, a tent
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:05:11 AM): lol
ablefires 658 (12:05:12 AM): with light inside
ablefires 658 (12:05:19 AM): it must be an alien
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:05:37 AM): but on a couch
ablefires 658 (12:06:14 AM): on a couch
ablefires 658 (12:06:19 AM): an alien on a couch
FatWhiteKid 264 (12:07:39 AM): you're so getting popped upside the head
ablefires 658 (12:08:23 AM): lmao

-------

Megan and the Superbowl: O my god, i don't care, go have sex AFTER the game, you guys are all homos.

-------

"La ropa de mi mamá es...tan antigua como ella.”

-------

Megan: You could go out there and no one would notice. Well, not with your pants kilted up to your uterus like that.

-------

M: What are you doing?
Megan: I’m getting ready for a C-section, just like Bearly.

-------


Megan: Ralph Fiennes is single.

M: When the dinosaur part of your life is going good, other parts must suck.
Laura: Sex or dinosaurs??!!

Sexual Self-education

Flo: Ooh, what was THAT? Again, again, again!

M: You'll be the Afghan. You can be Mary, and I'll be Joseph.
M: Ooh, can we have a baby?
M: No.

-----------

Watching the Sound of Music:

M: Okay, Von Hotness.