Julietta: It was just fake-out juice.

-------------------------------------

Julietta: When I'm older, I'm going to write a book called "My Mother."

-------------------------------------

(after a long search for my lost bank card)
Me: Dude, it's in the trash can!
Judy: O my gosh! ::ushering Christina out, closing the door behind her:: She's drunk, she's drunk, time to go to bed.

-------------------------------------

Christina: Once I had a friend who was using two buckets the morning after a party, one for cleaning the floor and the other to throw up in.

Me: Why was she cleaning and throwing up at the same time?

-------------------------------------

Me: How about: Have a beer, Javier! I like that one.
Javier: How about this one? Your arm is on my face.

-------------------------------------

Javier: Every morning, I wake up and I'm like....shit, I just want to retire.