Last Hurrahs

Allison: Why am I listening to your bra?

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Continuation of watching the Steve Harvey Show, without contacts

Mabel: Who´s that?
Allison: Uh, Regina...
Mabel: Oh, okay. So that one must be Steve Harvey.

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Allison: When I don´t have my glasses it´s like I´m seeing with a macro lens. You know, like one thing is in focus and the rest is blurry.

Mabel: Hmmm...yeah. For me, it´s like...when you put the cap on the camera lens.

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Susan: Yeah, Matt knows everybody. Somebody you know will know somebody who knows Matt.

Mabel: Matt really gets around.
Matt: Strong words coming from you, Mabel.
Mabel: Bwahaha, touche.

"Prelude to 'Mauled by an unattractive person pt. 2'"

Megan: [hand poised in mid-air, feeding me a dumpling across from a C-town soccer game]
Mabel: Bwahaa, I wonder what they think the dialogue is here.
Megan: Um, they probably don't have to wonder, I think they can hear everything we're saying.

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Ugly: it went fine
she was more or less what i expected
ann taylor asian
but even nerdier than i thought
she wore glasses
and not the hip kind
i was not attracted to her at all

Yo: but was she smartly dressed

Ugly: just totally not my type

Yo: yeah
ho well

Ugly: she was dressed ok
more like ann taylor loft
hehe

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Ugly: aww, ur leaving tomorrow
Yo: woo
ah know
:(

Ugly: booo

Yo: no more phone convos while stuck in traffic

Ugly: booo

Yo: ::goes to bawl in her room::

Ugly: lol
waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

Yo: lol

Ugly: ....
waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

Yo: WAAAAaaaAAAhhhAA

Ugly: waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

Yo: heeheeheeee
::barf::

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Ugly: afterwards i walked her back to the hotel
and i paid for my $30 parking fee
but she paid for dinner
so that was nice
then i went home and perused cl again

Yo: hahahaha
i like how that's the perfect end to a night
"then, like every night, i perused CL.

Ugly: :)

Yo: lol a common conversation i hear at home, is mom on the phone telling dad to buy a bunch of bananas
then, when dad gets home, mom usually complains about the bananas
"what the heck, does he not know how to buy things? these bananas are awful and expensive"

Ugly: lol
lord

Monday Night...

Mabel: Yeah, Chetra's afraid of boobs.
Chetra: Bwahaha, remember her? I made out with her at that party.
Mabel: Wait, did you :::makes boob grabbing motions::
Chetra: Uh, yeah.
Mabel: Bwaha, wait did you get turned on??
Chetra: Well...I was really drunk. And she was... a human being.
Mabel: Bwahaha. She breathed.
Allison: She had arms and legs.
Chetra: She existed.

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Jewish chicks on J-date

Bub: What WAS that site called? Not e-harmony.....J-date, haha.
Ugly: Bwahahaha, I should sign up on J-date.
Bub: You could sign up on J-date. There are Asian Jews out there.
Ugly: Yeah, there are....well, there probably aren't.
Bub: I mean you could convert to Judaism.
Ugly: .....or NOT.

---------------------------------

Bub: Craigslist is okay, though. I mean it can be sketch at times.
Ugly: Craigslist is fine. If I were more serious, I'd sign up on one of those sites...but right now, I'm just testing out the temperature of the water, you know. And the temperature looks...BIG and BLACK.

Old Things

Yo: did i ever send you pics of my new haircut

Flo: nope

Yo: i have them on my phone

Flo: seeeeend

Yo: okay sending
i got my bangs fixed

Flo: ok i'm waiting

Yo: there's 2 pics coming
haha

Flo: still waiting

Yo: they're traveling through cyberspace as we speak

Flo: ok i'm staring at my phone

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Yo: this couple above me in hewitt would have sex all the damn time
from 9 in the morning til like the early afternoon
they'd do it at least 3 times
and the girl would sound awful
she sounded like

Flo: hewitt is the worst place to have sex. the sound carries far

Yo: some strangled chicken

Flo: HAHAHAHAHA

Yo: seriously

Flo: did you find out who it was?

Yo: like a really high pitched "uuuuhhhhhhhh" like a baby whining or something
this asian girl who i wouldn't ever wanna imagine having sex

Flo: HAHAHA
was she our year?

Yo: i dunno
i didn't really know her
she lived upstairs

Flo: did you ever see the guy?

Yo: yeah i looked her up on facebook
he was like some hispanic dude

Flo: wait show me

Yo: i saw them both once
and pointed to them

Flo: lol
pointed to them

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Flo: wait, i went out with a hispanic guy. are you sure it wasn't me?
and i lived in hewitt

Yo: hahaha
you're not tubbish
i'm pretty sure it wasn't you
are you loud when you have sex?

Flo: LOL

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Flo: i make noises during appropriate times

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Flo: i get bored and then tired
and then i'm like "might as well sleep"
anyway,we should have a picnic
it should be part of our wknd ritual
pathmark picnic!
in prospect park!
look at that alliteration
you're not the only poet at 158 s portland ave

Stretchable Rubber Body Parts

Bub: He saw these when he was here, like just in a baggie without the toy label and all, and was like....::pick up, stare stare wtf::. I explained to him they were stretchable body parts, and he was just like "I don't wanna hear it....weirdos.."

Ugly: Bwahaha...well YOU'RE the one who's been leaving them all around. I had them put away at least.

Bub:[rofl] You had them put away and organized.

Ugly: In the spot for rubber body parts.

Focus, focus

Bub: [while stringing a guitar] Okay, so then, you wind this up so that the wire goes under for each round.

Ugly: [playing with plastic nose] Hmm, does this look like it's my nose? Or does it just look like a nose on a nose?

Bub: [struggling with strings] Like a nose on a nose.

Ugly: Oh, I know. I'll just cut out this middle part here so it'll fit. [gets scissors]

Bub: I can see that some serious work here is getting done.

I wanna go dancing

While watching a Bollywood version of the Thriller video

Bub: Haha, that's hilarious.

Mel: Do you wanna dance like that?

Bub: Yeah, that looks like it would be fun.

Ugly: You could do it in a basement.

Bub: But I can't do it alone, you guys need to dance too.

Mel: We'll just circle and clap.