Thursday, March 8, 2012

Shanties, Cont'd

me: you don't just work those hours, you have to prepare outside of class, and you can't just forget about it and turn it off outside work hours
:( awww hubby
i mean, wifey

Gagan: HAHAH.
me: lol

Gagan: IIII have the vag, excuse me.

me: hahahaha

we both get to the pants! and have the vag, at the same time

i mean, get to wear the pants

pwahaha

Gagan: haha. i get to the pants.

Javi Thursday Headliners

::after breaking the mop by pushing the retractable handle down and not being able to pull it back up::

Javi: Goddammit! First I broke the mailbox key and now I'm mopping like a midget.

----------------------------------

::pairing up a basketful of his socks, which are ALL black and ALL different

Javi: God, this job is like for preventing Alzheimer's.
Me: Bwahahaha! Like, a memory game?
Javi: Yes, remembering the sock you're holding.


----------------------------------


More sock-pairing paranoia

Javi: Some of your socks are really similar, but aren't the same. Like these, they look exactly the same, but this one looks like it's for someone with elephantitis.

Me: They ARE the same pair. 

Bonus Points for First Try

The Sentence Guessing Game

(His mother was angry and shouted at him).

Me: So, this is the person who...who's always telling you to do your homework.
Carmen: ...mother? ::pout::
Me: Mehehe, yes. And usually, when she does this, she is?
Carmen: ...angry?
Me: Yes! And when she's angry, she?
Carmen: Shouts.

The Blood Oath

me: can't le wait
lol i was telling cynthia how you were like..."so..how are plans"
"what plans"
"for coming home"
she was like, she wants you to sign a blood oath about coming back
i should draw up a contract! although, we made a contract too about mom and dad's vacation and in the end wound up taking all the money out of it lol

Ugly: uh yes
yes I do want a blood oath

me: hahahaa
okay fine i'll draw up a contract and post it on fb
put some beet juice on it

::oath has been drawn up and read::

Ugly: lol
awesome oath

me: haha

Ugly: so official!!

me: i just need to print it, put some beet juice on it, and take a picture

Ugly: yes
ASAP

me: oaths are supposed to be official
hahah
hongai
k i'll do it tomorrow morning

Ugly: post it to a public place
like a pole

me: lol
aka, facebook

Ugly: that also makes it official
or a modern pole like fb

me: pwahahaha
yeah, i'm sure FB is more official than a pole in madrid

Ugly: lol

...

Ugly: I like the idea of it on a pole in Madrid and a picture of you with a random spaniard as witness to the bloody fingerprinting

Friday, January 20, 2012

No Speaky English

Cynthia: Tell her to come to Gabana with us!
Me: Hell no she wouldn't come. If she had.....um....damn, all my English expression are leaving me!
Cynthia: Haha, I know right.
Me: If she had uh....not beef.....

after 2 minutes

Me: If she had...qualms! About coming to Serrano the last time, she definitely wouldn't come to Gabana.

---------------------------------------

Me: Did Shivom text you back yet?
Cynthia: Did you just say Shabom?

Thursday, January 5, 2012

RRaaahhh

::reading billboard::

Me: "Giant Mysterious Dinosaurs." They're always giant and mysterious. In every exhibit.
Ugly: Lol, right. If we knew them intimately, we... wouldn't be here.

------------------------------------------

Ugly: So, what do you wanna do about food?
Me: I wanna eat it.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

When Bub Comes To Town

Watching a Chinese tv talk show

Ugly: Hey doesn't that look like Kim Jong-Il?
Me: Who? Oh yeah haha! Hey how come they're not showing close-ups of him?
Ugly: Cuz they don't want people to know he's really alive. He's like a stunt double, except the opposite...he wants to be someone else bwahaha. Oh, look, there he is again!
Me: Whaat? That was him?
Ugly: Yeah, just without glasses. He's always blurry and out of focus.

--------------------------

Coming home at 1 in the morning

Me: Hey look, you took off your shoes on my slippers lol.

1 minute later

Ugly: Ohh, haha that was what you were talking about.
Me: Mehehe, but except this was how they were before. ::moves boot an inch on the slipper::
Ugly: But..why did you have to move it? Wasn't it exactly like that like a minute ago?
Me: Lol, yeah, but it just didn't look as funny.
Ugly: But it was like in the same position!
Me: Why are we having this conversation.


--------------------------

Me: Do you wanna join our chopping championship?
Em: I would like to see you two on like ecstasy.