Halloween Headliners

Sam: Yeah, I feel like there's a goth club somewhere in Philly. It's down this weird alleyway.
Bugly: Ohh yeah, we could totally go to a goth club.
Kat: It's like this underground scene.
Miki: ......I'd go mini-golfing.

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Samantha: we have to hype up our 3 person event

8:38 PM me: hahaha yeah, what will this event consist of

 Samantha: a haunted house, a halloween party, and it will end with you running
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Ugly: i had a pulled duck bbq sandwich

  it was crap

  i swear only asians know how to cook duck

 me: yeah it's true

  it's cuz they hang it up in those windows

  that's the key to good duck

1:24 PM Ugly: hahahahaahhhaah

Men and Retail

Me: So when are you gonna install the new laptop??
Javi: I'll do it soon, I just haven't had time to get to it lately.
Me: It's probably, like, broken already.
Javi: Pwahaa, yeah, it's already become obsolete in the week that I've had it.

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Javi: Oh, what about this one? The "Kling Shopping Bag."
Me: Mmm no. It looks like what my mom would call a "chicken stealing bag."

Deep Conversations, Cont'd

me: shoobie da doo

4:52 PM Ugly: it's shooba dee doo

 me: no it's not

  not if you say it fast

4:53 PM Ugly: it still is

 me: it's definitely shoobie tho

  no shooba

  cuz you say shoobie doobie

4:56 PM Ugly: i think we're talking about 2 different things here

4:58 PM me: fiiine

4:59 PM Ugly: lollll

 me: we shall agree to disagree

  so meaaaan

 Ugly: you're mean

 me: you're mean

  okay, gotta go

  ttyl!

 Ugly: bye

Of Cars and Fuzzy Slippers

me: you stopped responding to my texts!

 Ugly: what have you don with fuzzy slippers?
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Ugly: how long have you had your license?
me: lol
um maybe about 5 or 6 years
Ugly: oh thats good
and it's clean
me: yeah
as in no tickets?
Ugly: right
or accidents
lol
me: um i might have an accident
but that was before i ever had my license

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me: where are you looking at this car?

  are all the jettas stick?

12:21 PM Ugly: it's in princeton. he's meetinig me at my work at 5

  and then we're going from there

 me: ohh i see

 Ugly: no not all

 me: wait, who?

 Ugly: ching

 me: ching?

  ohh i see

 Ugly: i can't buy a stick w/o him! lol

 me: hahaa

  why not

 Ugly: cuz i cant drive it!

 me: ohh but are you thinking of buying it today?

  LOL

 Ugly: i cant go on a test drive no knowing how to drive it

12:22 PM me: buying a car you can't drive..

 Ugly: *not

  well i see it as a challenge

  lol

  it's on my bucket list

 me: well would you put it under his name or my name?

 Ugly: buying a car i can't drive check!

 me: lol this guy is gonna be so confused

 Ugly: lol!!!

 me: LOL

 Ugly: i think your name would be good

  maybe

 me: only person who can drive it isn't buying it

12:23 PM Ugly: hahahaahhaah

 me: girl who wants other guy to test drive it isn't buying it

 Ugly: well they dont have to know that

  they dont care

 me: girl who can't drive either manual or automatic is buying it
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While watching Homeland

Bugly: Man, this terrorist is like not tough at all. He's already giving in to bad music and extreme air conditioning.

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On Zoe's farts

Bugly: Omggg, It won't stop. It's like those motion-sensored Glade air fresheners. 

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Sam: i'm hungry

  i was living off my fat today

Hardy bargling, cont'd

(Talking about Halloween costumes)

Ching: Don't be a smurf! You'll get stuck with blue skin.
Bub: Oh yeah, you were a smurf last year right?
Ugly: You were a sperm??

Spinsters & Co.

Bub: I don't think i could ever fulfill my full potential as a human being sharing my life with another person

1:53 PM Ugly: hm

  seriously deep thoughts

 me: yes.

 Ugly: with bub

 me: lol

  i'm serious!

 Ugly: i know you are.

1:54 PM wouldnt be the first i've heard of your spinsterish hopes and dreams

When the Bub Strikes Again

Bub: Do you want an orange?
Allison (talking to someone else): Don't try to fool me.
Bub: I'm not trying to fool you, I'm just asking you a question.

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Allison: How do you say "Israel?"
Ron: (Says "Israel in Chinese)
Allison: Okay, what about the Netherlands?
Bub: Are you guys playing fobby games?