I need to be on facebook

Steph: Did you know that Rachel's engaged?
Daniya: What? How come everyone here knows? Congrats Rachel!
Allison: It was on facebook
Rachel: It was like two weeks ago too..
Daniya: Oh Ok Tonight I will make a facebook account. No wait, tomorrow I will make a facebook account. Tonight I will drink!

The Age of Hacking

Evil Spambot, to Megan: Hi googlyga what have you been up to? Do you want to make some money with me? Reading this store will be the best thing you've ever done! I thank God that I found this opportunity! http://t.co/u3KV1EJ

Megan's response:

arre, you jerk, your account has been hacked!

bahaha, the first two lines sound kind of like you, though. nicely done, internet spambot.

OBX Headliners: All Play and No Work

Kayaking

Brooke: You guys are always trying to be ahead of us!
Bub: ... We're not "trying."

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Ching is doing charades for the word "wheelchair"

Phil: Skiing! .... Crippled skiing!
Someone else: Wheelchair!
Phil: See, I was right!


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Me and Ugly are playing pattycake with our feet in hot tub
Phil: This is like, Special Olympics pattycake.


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You Just got Phil'ed

Bub: Oh hey Chris, still not asleep?
Chris: Yeah...I decided I was gonna take a break from the debate.
Bub: Hehe, Hurricane Phil just struck...again.
Chris: Yeah, specially when I faced it ALL BY MYSELF last night.

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Taboo

Richard: Okay, um....this is a Thursday in November.
April: Thanksgiving!
Richard: Okay, yes, and on that day, what do we celebrate?
Ching: Pilgrims!
Richard: YEAH!!

My mom is not a FOB

On our way to NYC via Greyhound bus and bus driver makes an announcement

Bus driver: Welcome aboard the Greyhound Bus to New York City. Now does anyone know how to get there? I don't have a GPS

everyone laughs and I look over to mom to see if she understood.

Ally: (In Chinese) Mom did you understand what the bus driver said?

Mom: (In English) Yes I am no F.O.B.

The Chinese Don't Hug.

Brooke: Does your dad ever ask questions about me? Like "why's she trying to hug me?"

Hurricane Humor

Me: (reading NYTimes article) "Ugly people could be allowed to seek help from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and other agencies in overcoming the effects of discrimination. We could even have affirmative-action programs for the ugly."
Ugly: ...I guess the first step would be admitting it.

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::Watching footage on tv of fallen tree in Northeast Philly::
Ugly: ...That's not like, right outside our house, is it.

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::Watching scary movie scene of girl getting wrapped up in shower curtain like a turkey, struggling, managing to pop her head out, and throwing it off her::

Bub: "Ladeedadeedah, gonna put my clothes on now."

Har har

(reading Chinese food menu)
Brooke: What´s Hong Kong style noodles? "Beef Juicy Ho Fun."
Maggie: Bwahaa...Can you just read the entire menu, it's kinda funny

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Brooke: "Bwaha..." That's like how you guys laugh online.
Maggie: Yeah, cuz it's like..busting out laughing.
Brooke: I like HAHA! in all caps.