Adventures in Dating on the Internets

googly: so, i joined match.com. i am tired of being in love with stupid men. thought i'd do something about it.

kerree: i bet you're going to find someone before i do.

googly: impossible =P

kerree: or, they'll just match us up with each other.

and if you don't stop complaining, I'll mix arsenic in.

me: Holy crap - check out this NYT article on hot springs in Taiwan. I wanna go thereeee!!

kerree: I have some extra bottles of sulphur lying about that I can give you. Just pour them into your bathtub.

the other other english patient

matt [in egregious Southern twang]: you could go on Oprah's show and complain about anything! she'd probably give you a whole lotta money.

googlyga: maybe she can adopt me instead.

matt: ... did you just say you would abduct me??

googlyga: yes. you shall be my desert bride.

grumpiness pays

me: grumbling about boring assignments

the bun: do you want to write this email for me instead? i don't want to be nice to that bitch.

me: sure. anything to get out of this project.

attorney (pokes head into office): whatcha doing on bun's computer?

bun: she's drafting a nice email to this chick because i hate her.

attorney: wow. you know things are bad when you ask megan to word something nicely.

Optimism Interspersed with some "doobie-dahs"

me: i went to get a blood test today, and i forgot to give them my urine sample
Ugly: doobie dah
doobie dah
doobie dah
me: which i had to carry, because you have to buy your own urine cup at the farmacy and bring it
Ugly: ew
me: omg i just spelled pharmacy with an f
Ugly: awesome
hahaha
me: anyway
Ugly: haha
me: so i forgot to give it to them, so i was carrying pee all day
hahaha
Ugly: :D
nice
me: and now instead of complaining that i have to go again tomorrow, i'm thinking how funny it was that i had to carry pee even though it really isn't funny, it's annoying.
lol
Ugly: :)
that is hilarious

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Janet: super sucks though
that u have to go back
dont u have to get new pee
me: haha i know, grahhh
LOL
i have to empty it out...and pee again..
i guess i'll do it again tomorrow morning just to be safe
Janet: so hilarious
me: jajaa
Janet: bc it´s ridiculous
haha
me: jajaj i know right...
BYOP
Janet: HAHAHAHA

Misunderstandings

Mabel: I didn´t mean to say it!
Javier: ...even though you did.
Mabel: Bwaha, I meant to say ¨It smells like Javi.¨
Javier: ...even though you said the opposite.

The Alien Character Card

Monse: How many family members do you have?
Enrique: I have...635 members. But only live with 200.

---------------------------------

Mabel: How old are you?
Itziar (9 year old speaking in alien voice): You'll be surprised. I am 430 years old. What is your favorite hobby?
Mabel: My favorite hobby is playing video games.
Itziar: Oh. I don't like them because all are of me.

I need wallspace for all this artillery

Janet: The thing is, Morocco has really nice stuff, but I would need to have a house to put them in.
Mabel: Yeah, like the carpets,
Janet: Carpets --
Mabel: Or the teapots,
Janet: Like where am I gonna hang this cool sword?
Mabel: Or that.

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Janet: Madrid changes so much with the weather. Like today everybody and their mom is out. Literally. Everybody and their mom and their mom's mom.

Rubberbands, pasta, they look all the same to me...

(at the Rastro, looking at a stand full of rubberbands, different shapes, sizes and colors)

Janet: Oh, look, they're selling pasta.
Mabel: Mmmm, they have spinach fettucine. And the orange kind too. It looks really good. That one looks like rubber tubing.
Janet: (touching the tubing) Uhh, I don't think this is pasta...
Mabel: I wonder what kind it is, looks kinda thick and gummy...
Janet: Dude, these are rubber bands, not pasta!

(bwahahahaha)