What Are My Choices Again?

maggie: Three tampons are walking down the street, mini, maxi and super
which one says hello first?
mabel: super?
wait what
what are my choices
maggie: uh
mini,
maxi,
or super
mabel: LOL
maggie: want the answer?
mabel: noo wait
it was b/c i couldn't see the first part of the joke
hahahah
"what was that one in the middle again?"
maggie: why cant you see?
you blind?
mabel: at first i couldn't
all i could see was "super, which one says hello first?"
maggie: oh
mabel: and i was like....what are my choices
lol "uh, mini, maxi, and super"
LOL
maggie: Three tampons are walking down the street, mini, maxi and super
which one says hello first?
mabel: ummm
i''m still laughing at that hahaha
okay let's see
um, i would say super
maggie: lord
you're supposed to just say
i dont know, what?
mabel: LOL
maggie: ruining the damn joke
mabel: okay, i dunno, which?
maggie: none of them... they were all stuck up bitches
mabel: hahahhaaa
niiiiiiiice

megan: why do i know so much about your friends? i've never met them.
cintia: it's 'cause i talk about them all the time -- i think you're my conscience at this point
...
megan: i think you're in trouble.

We Were Too Drunk to Socialize Properly

flo: what did you guys do
mabel: had dinner, went barhopping a bit
i got drunk and made a bunch of phone calls
i called him a couple of times
flo: while he was there?
wait, you went barhopping with him and then called him?
how does that make sense
mabel: haha no, no
LOL
i meant, called YOU

Caguilar: I want to call my mother to complain and say, "Mom, I know you gave me life, but I hate it!"

Frankenbooby

mabel: did nicole ever tell you she wanted to get breast reduction
maggie: yes, didnt we ever tell u we were going to be the first breast transplant participants?
she would get a reduction and i would get a simultaneous augmentation
mabel: hahahaa
from hers to yours
maggie: yep, we'd hold hands and go in there together
mabel: haha oh yeah you told me
it's like frankenstein
maggie: frankenbooby

Thursday Flosers

flo: i'm too boozed up to think like you right now, mablo
i just think it's not as complicated as you think it is

--------------------------

flo: omg this pie is soooooooooo god
good
god too

Thweet Thpanith Nothingth

Flo: i want you to whisper sweet spanish nothings in my ear when you return

---------------------------------

mabel: my sister told me it wasn't THAT funny and i was like whaa?
i'm glad you agree it was worth posting
flo: um, no, it was funny
your sister on crack
mabel: hahaha
flo: and yes, i omitted that "is" on purpose

---------------------------------

mabel: hate men
maggie: hate women
mabel: can i just be a lesbo
maggie: lol
you should
ur pretty close

Me Cago en Tu Puta Madre

Mabel: Okay, el juego de "no inglés" empieza ya. (The game of "no english" starts now.)
(seconds later)
Ah what the fuck?!

Judy: (snickering)........

Mabel: ....... Qué puta madre!

Stolen Entry

I really just had to re-post this entry from "Overheard in New York" here:

"Sorry, Ma'am, All the Guatemala Got Deported"

Older lady, with heavy Southern belle drawl: Excuse me, miss, is this Guatemala?
Sandwich shop clerk: What?
Older lady, indicating green condiment on her croissant sandwich: I really think this is Guatemala. Is it?

Suitors on CL

Megan: btw, what is that blog shipa sent us?

Flo: haha oh you weren't there. her coworker met her fiance through a blog, and starting from that month, you can see them flirting with each other. her coworker's blog. she's pakistani and he's asian canadian.

Megan: hmmm, so her coworker is the writer?

Flo: i think so.

Megan: or the two met in the comments? bwhahahahahah that is hilarious.

Flo: both. i dont know how he found her blog.

Megan: i think cordially, lucifer has the potential to scare away any suitor. it's the ultimate wrong impression. what would be even worse is if someone read it and liked it. or further, understood.  :: shudder:: bwhahahah.

Flo: hahaha. i'd fall in love with all three of us. oh wait, i already did.

Megan: bwahahahaha.

Flo: i'd bring polygamy back just for us.

Megan: lesbian polygamy. i think the entire western and easter religious world would call for our heads.... yet another reason to keel zem all!

Flo: agreed.

"Jenny Schecter"

mabel: i think mia kirschner is so beautiful
http://galeon.hispavista.com/hemen/img/Mia_Kirshner_1024x768_001.jpg
ugly: croikey!
mabel; hot, eh?
ugly: you cant send me that stuff at work!
mabel: hahaha
really?
ugly: h-h-h-hot
mabel: ahh knooow
ugly: but i will save the link for later
mabel: HAHAHA
i think she's one of the most beautiful women ever
she's like the brunette that nicole kidman never was
ugly: hmm, ur right.
ugly: i sent the link to some ppl
w/ subj: How do u like jenny now?
mabel: HAHAHAHA
awesome
from: my little sister
ugly: everyone hates jenny
LOL
nice
from: my straight little sister
thought ur goin to bed
hooked on gray matter?
mabel: hehe
no, looking at pics of mia kirschner
ugly: lol
what a dyke

Lexulous

Mabel: hahaha

2:48 PM okay i'm in lexulous

just signed up

me: awesome

create a game and invite me

Mabel: haha

2:49 PM we have to enter the rooms

let's go into

"auntie's corner"

2:51 PM me: lol ok

2:53 PM ok i started a game with you

Mabel: oh really

i don't see it

me: yeah i just made a move

2:54 PM Mabel: whats your username

"hornydude"

LOL

me: lol no

i have no username

where are you??

Mabel: i dunno

me: are you sure you have lexulous?

Mabel: i'm not in any game

yeah i do

2:55 PM me: i just clicked on "start a game"

Mabel: are you in auntie's corner?

me: and typed in your name

Mabel: me too

my username is ablefires658

me: i dont have a username

Mabel: really?

that's weird

me: i see no room called auntie's corner

Mabel: LOL

Chinese New Year

Flo: she hijacked my holiday

------------------------------

Mabel: She's making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Flo: Yeah, that's like the perfect expression!
Mabel: Why, thanks, I made it up myself, right on the spot.
Flo: ....Is that a real expression?

------------------------------

Flo: You're like acting out what just happened three minutes ago.

The Canaries

Episode of the Island Cats

Mabel: O my gosh, they're waiting for us outside!! We have to go get some food and feed them!!
Javier: Yes, yes, let's go right now!
Mabel: But wait, we have to let them in first so they don't leave!

-----------------

Later, at the 24-hour automatic supermarket vending machine

Javier: (pushing buttons on screen) Okay, so, bebidas....leche...
Mabel: Wait, wait, see if they have cat food.
Javier: (patiently exasperated) Cat food?!! I don't think they're going to have cat food!!
Mabel: Bwahahaha!
Javier: Hmm, look, they even have sex toys. "Un sex doble." (Screen says: "What quantity would you like?") No, no, cancel, cancel. Cancel! (Group of girls walk by, he covers screen.) Um, this is not for me...
Mabel: Bwahahahahahaha....

mabel: haha, i think you'll have to wait awhile there buddy, my virginity is too precious to be given up before marriage
john: yes, but we have to make sure we are sexually compatible before we get married, cos if we aint, then practise makes perfect
mabel: heard that kind of propaganda before!
john: when have I ever given you any bullshit
mabel: you can't convince me, hubbest
i'm a straight catholic girl with principles
john: hahahahaha