Of Cats and Babies

Me: George is 76 years old! He's like a senior citizen who has no manners. Always begging for food.
Ugly: Yeah, he has no inhibitions anymore.
Me: And Pela too. She's like an old woman.
Ugly: She's a cat lady!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: (waving over baby's head)
Ugly: (looking at doorway) Who are you waving at?
Me: The baby! He was looking up in the air.
Sam: Yeah, I thought you were waving at someone over there, too.
Ugly: I thought you were waving at Helen.
Helen: (from across the room) I even responded.

All he wrote in the message was a thousand x's and o's

(looking at old school photo on fb)

Ugly: That's you?
Me: Yeah, it doesn't even look like me.
Ugly: Who's Cat Kat?
Me: I dunno, some girl from school.
Ugly: Oh. There's "Roo Woo." Who's May Maybelline?
Me: Bahahaha.
Ugly: Lol, what the hell is up with these names?

--------------------------------------------------

 Ugly:  still home?

 Sent at 4:38 PM on Monday

 Ugly:  george, is that you?

are you on the computer?

dang cat is on the computer again.

(later)

Ugly: He was writing to his penpals.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

(stepping on Zoey's bone)

Me: Ahhhhhhh!!!! 

Ugly: GWAhahahahaha.

Me: Dude, that bone is a hazard to humans!!

Ugly: She's plotting our destruction!

Scary Movie People Problems

(watching confusing Korean horror movie)

Dad to Killer Stepmom: Stop it. I'm tired of this.

Me: Stop killing my children. I'm tired of you always murdering them.

Finally, GasX and Chapstick

(drinking wine)

Bugly: Mmm, this wine is so good. Why didn't we open this yesterday? It's so refreshing.
Sam: Yeah, it is good. Doesn't even taste like I'm drinking wine.
Bub: (picking up and looking at GasX ingredients label)
Sam: Baha, you're like, "Hm, how does this pair with GasX?"