Too good fo' dat

Bub: Hey, do you have anything I can bring for lunch tomorrow?
Ugly: Umm....I have half a thing of hummus. And some cheese?
Bub: So no.
Ugly: Hahaa. Oh! I do have something you can bring.
Bub: Don't tell me it's the instant Chow Mein.
Ugly::: (brings instant Chow Mein) :::

"I thought of telling her what the movie was about, then I thought of how many times I'd have to say 'Jesus freaks,' then decided not to."

Ugly: So what's this horror movie about?
Bub: It's about some Christian zealots or something.
Ugly: Oh, creepy. LOL....for them, it's Christianity...for us, it's a horror film.

New levels of impatience

Bub: Yeah, I felt bad i didn't even wait until you got inside the house to leave.
Ugly: uh, you didn't even wait until i got out of the car. You rolled over my heel.

--------------------

Bub ( reading map): Looks like we need to go this way to the chess match.

Renaissance faire villagers parade: ( going in the opposite direction) To the chess board!! Human chess match!!

---------------------

Ugly: This way!! You can't even follow a parade.

There are sober children in China

Jhett: ::shaking a half-empty can of heineken:: You didn't finish your beer...
me: No, I didn't...
Jhett:  There are sober children in China!

:::laughter ensues:::

Are you a tomato inspector?

Ad for iPower Grow Lights:

Plants of all kinds like these lights. They really do! And if you're looking to grow some tomatoes inside, where no one can see them, these lights will help make a difference. And also, are you a tomato inspector? Because, now that I asked, you have to tell me if you are.

Last Word Wednesday

Ugly Gasa
god i want to jump off a bridge i'm so bored

Me
oh herro
loll

Ugly Gasa
what if you saw that IM and then later you got a phone call that i was found in the DE river?

Me
hahahaah

Ugly Gasa
lol

Me
that would be not hilarious

Ugly Gasa
well, alive

Me
LOL

Ugly Gasa
just cold

Me
okay that would be hilarious

Ugly Gasa
lolll
see.
maggie found swimming in the delaware

Me
LOLLL
Ugly Gasa
that needs to be on cl
put it on there right now

Me
"Asian girl found swimming in the DE, looking confused"

Ugly Gasa
i think i would be happy
not so much confused

Me
lolll

"Asian girl found swimming in the Delaware, looking happy"

from the mouths of bears.

me: i loved seeing that photo of you guys all together! it made me feel so happy! and also sad.
bear (drunk): that's called nostalgia.

Just like "No Carbs Left Behind"

Ugly: Ow, my stomach hurts.
Jhett: Is this reflective of your cooking?
Me: No, my stomach doesn't hurt. She's just gluten-free intolerant. 

The Legendary Spaghetti Cheapo Debate

me: ooh wendy's
 
i had spaghetti
 
i ate spaghetti every day this week
1:02 PM
Ugly: how frugal

me: why is it frugal
1:03 PM
Ugly: why have you eaten spaghetti every day this week?

me: cuz i'm trying to eat carbs

Ugly: it's also very inexpensive
1:04 PM
me: so? should i eat expensive carbs?

Ugly: i didnt say that
 
apparently frugality is just a byproduct of you trying to eat carbs
 
carbs are cheap.

me: >:(
1:05 PM
you're a byproduct of carbs!

Ugly: lol why does that upset you?

me: lol cuz you're calling me frugal
 
x-(
1:06 PM
Ugly: so?

me: and i usually bring my lunch every day anyway
 
it's usually either pasta or a sandwich

Ugly: what's wrong w being frugal?
1:07 PM
me: i dunno, sounds like a cheapo

Ugly: and i only assumed you were eating pasta bc to save money because you've been saying you want to be on the mom budget.
 
and eating spaghetti every day is exactly in line with living on the mom budget.
 
bc she does that.
1:08 PM
me: lol
 
i'm trying to eat more calories

Ugly: but since saving money wasn't the reason, forget i said it!

me: well i bring my lunch every day anyway

Ugly: you said, "i ate spaghetti every day this week."
1:09 PM
i already knew you bring lunch dailyi.
1:11 PM
me: yeah but how would eating spaghetti every day be frugal as opposed to bringing rice
 
or a sandwich
1:12 PM
Ugly: mom always has spaghetti at home
 
sandwich you might have to buy
 
rice you have to put stuff on
 
spaghetti only requires sauce
9 minutes
1:22 PM
me: loll
 
and meat!
 
well that stuff you put rice on would be at home too
1:24 PM
Ugly: but that would be as frugal as just eating spaghetti with sauce
 
wouldnt
1:28 PM
however, spaghetti with sauce is two steps up from ramen.
21 minutes
1:49 PM
me: no i put stuff on my spaghetti
1:50 PM
Ugly: lol
 
i think we've come to the end of this convo.
1:51 PM
me: you started it!
 
and i will finish it.
 
i like spaghetti, it's not just pasta and sauce. that's poor man's spaghetti
1:54 PM
Ugly: good.
 
now we can move on.
5 minutes
2:00 PM
me: LOL
 
this convo is joining the ranks
 
i definitely ended that convo with a bang
 
infamous phrase that will be repeated throughout history

Ugly: if you say so
2:01 PM
me: lol i'm being sarcastic.
 
geez
 
meanie!!

Ugly: your sarcasm didnt translate over IM
2:02 PM
me: whaat
 
how could you read that as anything but sarcastic
 
i mean that convo is joining the ranks of absurdism
5 minutes
2:07 PM
me: herroo
2:08 PM
Ugly: herro!
2:10 PM
i felt you felt you had defended your spaghetti cheapo debate excellently so i had reason to believe you felt that "i like spaghetti, it's not just pasta and sauce. that's poor man's spaghetti" were words that will live on.

me: LOL
2:11 PM
this convo is going into CL

Ugly: lmao

me: lmao
 
omg i'm shaking with silent laughter

Ugly: me too

"We should have topics of the day"

Me
lol
nahh
oh i got a midget granola bar
it was like half the full granola bar lol

Ugly Gasa
um ok

Me
lol
LOL
that's the only appropriate response, really
i'm like trying not to bust out laughing here

Ugly Gasa
lolllll

Me
LOLOL


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ugly Gasa

DOMA IS DEADD@!!!11

 

Me

who's doma? 

Ugly Gasa

LOL OMG. 

you ARE under a rock! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's What You Do With a Nugget

Sam: Hi my little bitty boo
Me: hi my little bacon sammy, how was your exam?
Sam: Why am I bacon? Why can't I be something cute?
Me: ok you're a nugget then.
       nuggets are the cutest of fast foods.
Sam: They are! Like the McDonald's commercial.
Me: mmm I just want to dip you in sauce and take a bite
Sam: You are dirty! I think you're horny bc your on your period.
Me: what? that's what you're supposed to do with a nugget
Sam: I want to drop you on the foor, blow on you and then eat you.

Most importantly, what are we gonna eat?

me: it's so hooot

9:45 PM Ugly: it's not that hot

 me: did you finish your taxes?

 Ugly: hey have you seen my yellow folder?

  with the tax docs

 me: yeah it's in da living room

 Ugly: arg

9:46 PM does that answer your question?

 me: lol

  bahaha

 Ugly: it's done really

  i just need to recheck everything

 me: oh ok

  hey what are we gonna eat tomorrow

  and can you bring my sunglasses and necklace from your room

 Ugly: what necklace

 me: and bra

 Ugly: what sunglasses

Coworker Hating Picked Up Where Left Off

MoBot:  i'm starting to hate these people

 me:  who?

 MoBot:  coworkers

 me:  thought you already did

 MoBot:  well kim and andrew was out last so i forgot how much they talk and annoying they are

 MoBot:  chrysa is moody

 me:  coworker hating picked up where left off.

 MoBot:  exactly

 me:  that would be the headline for this conversation

 MoBot:  right

Car Problems

zoiks

09-12-2011, 12:52 PM

The Camry usually outlives the driver who soon dies of boredom driving the said Camry car.

The question of the forum was: "How long does a Camry usually last?"

Thursday Ugly Liners

(while watching Les Mis)

Me: And there's Helena Bonham Carter, playing...herself.

--------------------------------------------------------

Me: You're listening to..best songs ever on Radio Bub.

::starts playing song:::

Ugly: This is one of the best songs ever?
Me: Due to 100% listener demand, this song has been stopped.

--------------------------------------------------------

Ugly: "I am the tewwa that flaps in da night!"
Me: That's Batman's motto?
Ugly: No, Darkwing Duck!
Me: Oh, I was gonna say...I hope someone realized how ridiculous that sounds.

-------------------------------------------------

Me: You can even take a course on Astrobiology. Although I wonder who the hell would take Astrobiology in their free time.

Ugly: I would, if I had free time.

Me: I would maybe if I had like a million hours of free time.

Ugly: It could be interesting. What was that again, Astro what?

Me: :::gives incredulous look:::

-----------------------------------------------

(while working silently)

Ugly: I like reading aloud to myself.
Me: :::gives look::