Ugly: Oh, myyyy.
Bub: What?
::looks at picture of fat ugly person on fb::
Ugly: Brooke's always been telling me about how ugly her ex-girlfriend was, and this is the first time I've actually seen a picture of her. Not only is she ugly, she's a total crazy bitch.
Bub: What?? Why did she even date her?
Ugly: She said she had to fill a void in her life at that point.
Bub: She had to fill the ugly girlfriend void?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Meatbooks, cont'd
Bub: Is it a new singer this time?
Allison: Mm, yeah, before it was the guy with the beard. I mean the other guy with the beard!
(all the band members had beards)
--------------------------------------------------
Bub: Mmm, you know what I want, a proper delicious brunch.
Allison: ...It's 10:30 at night!
Bub: Not NOW!
Allison: Mm, yeah, before it was the guy with the beard. I mean the other guy with the beard!
(all the band members had beards)
--------------------------------------------------
Bub: Mmm, you know what I want, a proper delicious brunch.
Allison: ...It's 10:30 at night!
Bub: Not NOW!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Le Bugly
Ugly: Could you write a poem without adjectives?
Bub: Mmm....I once had to write a poem without e's. That was hard.
--------------------------------------------
Ugly: Oh, look. That curtain still looks like it wants to murder you.
--------------------------------------------
"Yo madda so fat....daaaat, when she jump faw joyyyyyy..she got stuck!"
--------------------------------------------
Ugly: I'm ugly, not bugly.
--------------------------------------------
Ugly: Hey, maybe we should do challenges like that too, poem without e.
Bub: Mmm, I think we should get an audience first.
Ugly: Pwahaa... "Anybody? No e? What about r? Audience choice! Let's take a vote! ::silence::"
Bub: Mmm....I once had to write a poem without e's. That was hard.
--------------------------------------------
Ugly: Oh, look. That curtain still looks like it wants to murder you.
--------------------------------------------
"Yo madda so fat....daaaat, when she jump faw joyyyyyy..she got stuck!"
--------------------------------------------
Ugly: I'm ugly, not bugly.
--------------------------------------------
Ugly: Hey, maybe we should do challenges like that too, poem without e.
Bub: Mmm, I think we should get an audience first.
Ugly: Pwahaa... "Anybody? No e? What about r? Audience choice! Let's take a vote! ::silence::"
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Vacationing with John
John: (pointing at guy with a trolley) See that noise? I just want it to shut the fuck up
John: It came from the depths of the bowels of the toilet...it sounded like luggage being rolled on the sidewalk but never going away!
--------------------------------
Mabel: Do you snore?
John: Ever so slightly.
Mabel: I'll just put a pillow over your face.
John: Awww, that's not nice.
--------------------------------
Mabel: "Don't get yourself run down now."
John: Hehe...now what were we talking about there?
Mabel: ... you only say that every time I cross the street.
--------------------------------
"What does it do for your shaggability factor?"
--------------------------------
John: You have a bigger chest than that girl over there, look... oh wait..that's a man.
--------------------------------
Mabel: (in the doorway of hostel room preparing to run into the bathroom) Ahhh John there's someone coming! I look like a banshee!
John: (monitoring hallway traffic) It's the Picadilly circus. Ok, now GO GO GO!
--------------------------------
John: Since you didn't get your balloon, would you like an ice cream instead?
--------------------------------
John: Is that your shagging list?
Mabel: Yeah. No, SHOPPING list!
--------------------------------
John: We'll have to re-evaluate the situation, re-calculate the number of stops, the time it takes to get there, what we're going to do with the extra time spent on land.
--------------------------------
High prices for sitting down
Mabel: (sits down as we enter a cafe)
John: We made the mistake of sitting down again... You sat down AGAIN, ya bitch!
--------------------------------
John: (about his camera losing battery) Oh put it back in before it goes!!
Mabel: *snicker* That's what SHE said...
--------------------------------
Learning Spanish
John: "Do you fancy a shag?" Eh, mas o menos. "Is that mas or menos?"
--------------------------------
John: Mabel Mabel Mabel! The hot Asian cafe's right here! You just walked right past it!
Mabel: Okay, okay, we'll come back later geez... "Red alert! ALERT!!"
--------------------------------
John: We were asking him in stereo for the dessert menu.
--------------------------------
Mabel: You never told me THAT before!!
John: MABEL, I just told you three times in the last five minutes!!!!
--------------------------------
John: She's not my girlfriend, she's my secretary. We're just here for a cheap dirty weekend, but I'm still gay.
--------------------------------
Mabel: I've got quite the solid thighs.
John: It's like that cuz your jeans are just tight. Once you take them off they'll be normal...... whatever normal might be.
--------------------------------
Mabel: Last night some people accidentally came into our room. That means anyone can get into anyone else's room!!
John: (with magic fingers) OOooooOOOoooohhh!!! OooooOOoooOoh!.... Do you know this because you've actually done it? (always making a right instead of left exiting our room)
--------------------------------
Mabel: Tell the story again about the chocolate.
John: What story about the chocolate?
Mabel: John you just told it 3 minute sago! This is worrisome.
--------------------------------
Mabel: Say it again, say it again!
John: Say what again?!
Mabel: Um, don't remember.
John: Well if you don't remember, how do you expect me do remember?
--------------------------------
(talking about "Milkman Ernie" song in Benny Hill)
Mabel: But...why is his name Ernie?
John: I don't know why, Mabel!!! It's just the name in the song!!!
--------------------------------
Mabel: I can't believe that oversized leprechaun...
John: Oh, Seamus.
Mabel: You knew his name?!
--------------------------------
(about square sliced sausages)
Mabel: But...are they actually square or do they have rounded edges?
John: YES, they are SQUARE Mabel!
Mabel: But...what do they do with the extra sausage that they cut off?
John: ...Cut WHAT off??
John: It came from the depths of the bowels of the toilet...it sounded like luggage being rolled on the sidewalk but never going away!
--------------------------------
Mabel: Do you snore?
John: Ever so slightly.
Mabel: I'll just put a pillow over your face.
John: Awww, that's not nice.
--------------------------------
Mabel: "Don't get yourself run down now."
John: Hehe...now what were we talking about there?
Mabel: ... you only say that every time I cross the street.
--------------------------------
"What does it do for your shaggability factor?"
--------------------------------
John: You have a bigger chest than that girl over there, look... oh wait..that's a man.
--------------------------------
Mabel: (in the doorway of hostel room preparing to run into the bathroom) Ahhh John there's someone coming! I look like a banshee!
John: (monitoring hallway traffic) It's the Picadilly circus. Ok, now GO GO GO!
--------------------------------
John: Since you didn't get your balloon, would you like an ice cream instead?
--------------------------------
John: Is that your shagging list?
Mabel: Yeah. No, SHOPPING list!
--------------------------------
John: We'll have to re-evaluate the situation, re-calculate the number of stops, the time it takes to get there, what we're going to do with the extra time spent on land.
--------------------------------
High prices for sitting down
Mabel: (sits down as we enter a cafe)
John: We made the mistake of sitting down again... You sat down AGAIN, ya bitch!
--------------------------------
John: (about his camera losing battery) Oh put it back in before it goes!!
Mabel: *snicker* That's what SHE said...
--------------------------------
Learning Spanish
John: "Do you fancy a shag?" Eh, mas o menos. "Is that mas or menos?"
--------------------------------
John: Mabel Mabel Mabel! The hot Asian cafe's right here! You just walked right past it!
Mabel: Okay, okay, we'll come back later geez... "Red alert! ALERT!!"
--------------------------------
John: We were asking him in stereo for the dessert menu.
--------------------------------
Mabel: You never told me THAT before!!
John: MABEL, I just told you three times in the last five minutes!!!!
--------------------------------
John: She's not my girlfriend, she's my secretary. We're just here for a cheap dirty weekend, but I'm still gay.
--------------------------------
Mabel: I've got quite the solid thighs.
John: It's like that cuz your jeans are just tight. Once you take them off they'll be normal...... whatever normal might be.
--------------------------------
Mabel: Last night some people accidentally came into our room. That means anyone can get into anyone else's room!!
John: (with magic fingers) OOooooOOOoooohhh!!! OooooOOoooOoh!.... Do you know this because you've actually done it? (always making a right instead of left exiting our room)
--------------------------------
Mabel: Tell the story again about the chocolate.
John: What story about the chocolate?
Mabel: John you just told it 3 minute sago! This is worrisome.
--------------------------------
Mabel: Say it again, say it again!
John: Say what again?!
Mabel: Um, don't remember.
John: Well if you don't remember, how do you expect me do remember?
--------------------------------
(talking about "Milkman Ernie" song in Benny Hill)
Mabel: But...why is his name Ernie?
John: I don't know why, Mabel!!! It's just the name in the song!!!
--------------------------------
Mabel: I can't believe that oversized leprechaun...
John: Oh, Seamus.
Mabel: You knew his name?!
--------------------------------
(about square sliced sausages)
Mabel: But...are they actually square or do they have rounded edges?
John: YES, they are SQUARE Mabel!
Mabel: But...what do they do with the extra sausage that they cut off?
John: ...Cut WHAT off??
Finally Good Food
On the list of: "Things to do when the tumor twins reunite"
- fine dining at the tastiest, cheapest restaurants we can find. (such as pho 77, pho 88, pho 99, pho 00)
- fine dining at the tastiest, cheapest restaurants we can find. (such as pho 77, pho 88, pho 99, pho 00)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Blublublublublu
(at the airport)
Me: Even the coffee machines must be expensive here. It´ll cost you an arm and a leg.
Ugly: Bwaha, "Please insert: One. Arm."
Me: Bwahaha, "Your balance: One. Arm."
Ugly: "Your change: Four. Toes." :::blublublublublu:: That´s the sound of the toes rolling down the chute.
---------------------------------------------------
(playing pool)
Ugly: Dammit, I wish I didn´t have a left leg.
Me: You can insert it in the coffee machine.
Me: Even the coffee machines must be expensive here. It´ll cost you an arm and a leg.
Ugly: Bwaha, "Please insert: One. Arm."
Me: Bwahaha, "Your balance: One. Arm."
Ugly: "Your change: Four. Toes." :::blublublublublu:: That´s the sound of the toes rolling down the chute.
---------------------------------------------------
(playing pool)
Ugly: Dammit, I wish I didn´t have a left leg.
Me: You can insert it in the coffee machine.
They are a cat lady
Ugly: they just have too many cats
me: mom´s a cat lady
what did dad say?
i guess he´s a cat lady too
Ugly: lol
nina said
"they are a cat lady."
me: mom´s a cat lady
what did dad say?
i guess he´s a cat lady too
Ugly: lol
nina said
"they are a cat lady."
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