Oh, young love

Ugly: Oh, young love....to feel that again
Mabel: only one of us is young ;)
Ugly: LOL

------------------------------
Car Rentals...I missed that, say it again?

Javi: Yeah that was a good price for five days, but the amount for nine days like a couple weeks ago was about 190. For nine days.
Mabel: [stares boredly] Uh huh.
Javi: [pause] For NINE!

The Detholate Village of Madrid

Javi: [singing to Jane's Addiction] Have you seen my wig arouuund. [Normal speech, confused] Have you seen my wig around?!

----------------------------------------

Yo: just spent like 15 minutes trying to tape my windows shut
tis a windy city today!
Ugly: what are you taping with?
Yo: we tried to tape it with duct tape
but it didn't work
so now i have a chair over the window with books on it
Ugly: lol
how charming
drafty house in little spanish village on an extraordinarily windy day
Yo: haha
Ugly: with poor college students
trying to stay warm
Yo: i live in the capital of spain!
little village...
haha
Ugly: lol
Ugly: i always imagine you to be in a little hut on the outskirts
Yo: i have all these picture cards all over the floor of my room
noun cards
Ugly: walking in sandals and flowered dresses on a dirt path to the village school
Yo: HAHA
that'll be next year

Cheeth Curlth

Yo: i had some miso soup
Ugly: sweet!
Yo: after the cheese curls
Ugly: didnt know u had chiz gurls
u seem to have an endless supply of chiz gurls
Yo: haha
didn't i tell you i was eating cheese curls
Ugly: actually the proper taglish would be jizz gurlz
no u didnt
Yo: yuh huh!
i must've mentioned cheese curls like 4 times in the last 2 days
Ugly: nyuh uh.
Yo: lmao
HAHA
Ugly: yea but not TODAY
Yo: yuh huh!
Ugly: nyuh uh.

-----------------------------------------

Ugly: you improperly titled that post "cheeth curlth" when it was referred to the whole time as chiz gurls

Me: You know how Ted Hughes left Sylvia Plath for another woman? Well, that woman also committed suicide by sticking her head in the oven. She also killed their daughter.
Lauren: Toxic bachelor.

Brilliant W/out Boobs Cont'd

mabel: finally going to get my hair cut today
ugly: ooh
got paid?
mabel: got some extra cash
ugly: been standing on the corner?
mabel: and by extra i mean it replaces all the cash i spent on the weekend
hahaa
yes, using my boobalicious teacher brains
ugly: LOL
mabel: whoring my curvy intellect
ugly: HA
very nice
mabel: mehehehe
i'm kinda afraid
but i just can't wait to get all this weight off my head
ugly: afraid of what?
mabel: of my new haircut
or, of going to get it cut
ugly: oh, literally
weight
off head
yes it feels great
mabel: haha
a boob reduction
ugly: haahaha
brilliant
mabel: heheheee
i love this new metaphor of ours
it's genius
and i love boasting about my boobs now
ugly: absolutely
hahaha
mabel: i'm a new woman.
ugly: good for you
don't bust your boobs

on overcoming self-directed homophobia...

the ex: you mean all of that girl-on-girl sex didn't help her get over her homophobia?
backup gf #3? (me): no, because nobody else was there. now, if you had had girl-on-girl sex in public, that would be a sign of progress.
the defected: (imitating the homophobe ex-gf) yea, brad, i have something to show you... no, i can't tell you. i have to show you (maniacal laughter all around!)

Lower East Side -- waiting at the crosswalk

White mother to white child: Okay, now we have to wait for the white man.
*Megan and Flo look at each other*
Megan and Flo: BWAHAHAHAHA
*Megan and Flo walk away*

Our Tribute to Aaliyah

mabel: cuz i really need somebody
tell me you're that somebody
ugly: wahhh waaaahhh
mabel: LMAO
::rattle rattle::

I Miss You, Albornoz!

Mabel: I just hate waking up in the morning. A lot.

Javi: Nobody does, I mean do you think I wake up in the morning clapping or something? "Come on, Javi, let's go let's go! Woooo to work!"

------------------------------------------------------

The Albornoz Saga Continues

Javi: Aren't you hot?
Mabel: No.
Javi: ... warm?

------------------------------------------------------

Monica: Tengo un barco y nosotros todos vamos a Filadelfia remando.

"This weekend I was mauled by an unattractive girl."

ugly: i met this girl through a friend
danced with her, no big deal
i was not attracted to her
i just wanted to dance
mabel: hahaha
ugly: in a little while i suggested we go on the platform where other crazy people were dancing crazily
mabel: "let's get that clear."
ugly: lol
yes
thats the key
anyway, not thinking that on the platform, she can trap me in a corner
and she did and i felt mouth all over mine
and i was slightly disturbed and definitely not interested
i backed her up and continued dancing
but then i didnt even want to dance w/ her anymore
mabel: LMAO
hahahaha
ugly: so i said i needed to go cool down
mabel: did she maul you just once
ugly: once or twice
twice
mabel: lmao
ugly: it was true that i was sweatin like nuts
so we went to the bar
tried to make conversation
but she wasn't very interesting to converse w/ either
after a while i went lookin for will
so i could leave
mabel: haha
okay
and she attacked again!
ugly: no
but we passed each other a couple other times as i was trying to leave
'cause will was having another drama-filled night
crying w/ his bf
gawd
i left.

Gross mis-nomers

Mabel: [reading Judy's blogpost entitled "Oh, fat belly"]

I'm so eager to see you again
but I wouldn't ask to see you not because I'm proud.
In fact, in front of you I cede all my pride
yet only if you asked to see me our meeting would be meaningful to me.

Judy: It's a poem by Simone de Beauvoir.

Mabel: Ah, okay. It's beautiful. And it's called "Oh fat belly?"

[Horse laughter]

----------------------------------

At the rent office, on account of my windows which don't close, even when taped shut and barred with a chair.

Judy: Man you paid 80 euros more than me this month.
Mabel: Yeah, it sucks.
Judy: I guess cuz you have a bigger room. And colder.
Mabel: Extra money for a nice draft!

----------------------------------

Frenetic, uptight tourism

Judy: "Okay! Page 5 of the guidebook! This is it this is it!! Okay, picture time now! Let's go let's go! Okay, 5 minutes to buy souvenirs!"

Duck Wings

mabel: why don't you live closer to philly
maggie: how does that help u?
mabel: haha
i was thinking it would help YOU
then i could.....easily come and cook for you...
maggie: riiiiight
mom made me duck wings before i left
she put them in tupperware and i brought them home
mabel: aww
HAHA
maggie: two containers
mabel: see, she's always good for leftover food
when, after x mas?
maggie: no she made it 'specially for me
mabel: aww cute
maggie: two diff flavors too
i had them in my carryon
mabel: hahaha
imagine if they searched you at security
"what's inside yer bag, ma'am"
maggie: and my bag was stalled in the xray machine for a while
mabel: "um, duck wings."
hahaha really
maggie: yea, the guy backed it up
and was looking at it
mabel: HAHA
maggie: for a good couple mins
mabel: he could probably see the duck wing bones
maggie: lol
i just finished eating them too
they were gooooood
mabel: really?
like just now?
not now but, recently?
maggie: yea
i froze'em
mabel: there were that many?
maggie: yea, there were like, probably feet and wings belonging to a dozen former ducks

Brilliant! [Without Boobs]

mabel: my favorite is jenny
maggie: gawd, u are SO 4 seasons behind

-------------------------------

Javi: Do I look like a heater or something?!

-------------------------------

maggie: ok, did u listen to made in the dark?
mabel: yeah i thought that was good
maggie: Tumor Twins Unite!!!
mabel: hahahaha
no first you have to say that bon iver is good before the tumor twins unite

-------------------------------

Ugly: my question is, since my hormones are wreaking havoc on my body on a monthly basis, where are my boobs?
Yo: hahaha
blame mom
or dad
the boobless genes
Ugly: not sure who has them
Yo: both probably
that's why the booblessness is so extreme on our part
Ugly: that sucks
but i guess i'd rather be brilliant
where's the brilliance gene?
Yo: hahaha
oh i thought you meant you were brilliant
well i'd rather be brilliant and with boobs
Ugly: lol, no
oh right
Yo: hahaha
Ugly: B&B
Yo: B&WB
Ugly: BwB
or, you remember Married {with Children} ?
the logo?
Yo: um
yeah kinda
let me look it up
Ugly: it just says MARRIED
with a stamp on top that says with children
Yo: oh yeah i see it now
Ugly: hehe
Yo: is that how it's gonna look like
"BRILLIANT"
"with boobs"
Ugly: BRILLIANT
[with boobs]
Yo: in our case it would be without
Ugly: oh, right
just BRILLIANT
Yo: [without boobs]
it's not fair, sniff sniff
Ugly: we got big knockers for you, right up here (tapping on head)
Yo: LOL
eyes up here
Ugly: LOL
Yo: where the real boobies are
Ugly: yoo hoo! i'm up heerreee!