My mom is not a FOB

On our way to NYC via Greyhound bus and bus driver makes an announcement

Bus driver: Welcome aboard the Greyhound Bus to New York City. Now does anyone know how to get there? I don't have a GPS

everyone laughs and I look over to mom to see if she understood.

Ally: (In Chinese) Mom did you understand what the bus driver said?

Mom: (In English) Yes I am no F.O.B.

The Chinese Don't Hug.

Brooke: Does your dad ever ask questions about me? Like "why's she trying to hug me?"

Hurricane Humor

Me: (reading NYTimes article) "Ugly people could be allowed to seek help from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and other agencies in overcoming the effects of discrimination. We could even have affirmative-action programs for the ugly."
Ugly: ...I guess the first step would be admitting it.

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::Watching footage on tv of fallen tree in Northeast Philly::
Ugly: ...That's not like, right outside our house, is it.

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::Watching scary movie scene of girl getting wrapped up in shower curtain like a turkey, struggling, managing to pop her head out, and throwing it off her::

Bub: "Ladeedadeedah, gonna put my clothes on now."

Har har

(reading Chinese food menu)
Brooke: What´s Hong Kong style noodles? "Beef Juicy Ho Fun."
Maggie: Bwahaa...Can you just read the entire menu, it's kinda funny

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Brooke: "Bwaha..." That's like how you guys laugh online.
Maggie: Yeah, cuz it's like..busting out laughing.
Brooke: I like HAHA! in all caps.

Flo Tri- Annual Reunion Headliners

Bo: So this guy stopped me on the street today and was like "Hey!" and I was like "Uhh, hey." Then I kept walking and he was like "Hey hey!" And so I turned around and was like "Oh, hey..."
Flo: Bwahaa, uh, was that really actually the conversation? "Hey," "Hey", "Hey hey!" "Oh, hey"...
Bo: Bwahahaha, well almost.
Flo: That was like, no substance at all.
Bo: AKA, hitting on people.

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Beer´ed out

Bo: So I woke up in the middle of the night and was really thirsty so I went into the kitchen to drink some water. I just took whatever glass and poured Brita water into it...and as I was drinking it I was like...this tastes like beer, did this glass have beer in it??


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Flo: Bwaha, can´t believe you crawled into my bed right after I left.
Bo: Yeah I was kinda tired of being in fetal position all night.

Birth-day, Literally

Ugly: Is it my birthday yet? Yay, it is!
Bub: Happy birthday!! Now you´re....let´s not talk about it.
Ugly: Bwahah, well, I´ve been aging backwards since I´ve turned 30..so now I´m actually 28!
Kat: Yeah, there´s gonna be a big party for when you turn 16 again!
Bub: Oh yayy, sweet 16!!
Ugly: And a HUGE Party for when I crawl back into my mother´s womb!
Bub: Bwahahahahah! How old would she actually be?
Kat: 60.

I am the gay, cont´d

Mabel (in running attire): Like my gay hat?
Allison: Haha..yeah. Is that like an actual running hat?
Mabel: Yeah, look. Pride runners 2011.
Allison: Ohhh, it´s a REAL gay hat. I thought you were just saying it´s gay hahaa.

Hipsters, etc.

Youri: Yeah, the other day my friend was talkin about hipsters and I was like, what is a hipster? And he said, you know, I don't know how to explain, they're those people, they ride bikes....And I was like I ride bikes...Then he's like, and they wear shirts...and I'm like, I wear shirts.

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Youri: You guys know any smoke tricks?
Mabel: Like, making rings?
Allison: Yeah how do they do that?
Mabel: Just like this ::makes smoke-ring-blowing motions::
Youri: ...that's what she said.


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Allison: How would you even quote that on CL.
Mabel: I dunno, it's just one of those you-had-to-be-there moments, I guess.
Youri: You could definitely take a picture of it. Or you could even make a GIF, with two pictures.
Mabel: Oh, can you make GIFs?
Youri: I'm not that talented.

Amazon Cats

Koka jumps onto table

Ugly: Hey! What do you think this is?!
Bub: Do you think this is the jungle where you came from?
Ugly: Bwahah..
Bub: This is only a little bit better than the jungle where you came from.

Misnomers, Cont'd

SnoozieQZ: did you know "ingle" means groin in spanish?
Mabel Lee: yep haha
SnoozieQZ: I found that out by accident
I meant to write ingles
sometimes I google translate what I write on facebook out of curiosity, because I know someof my friends do that
Mabel Lee: haha
SnoozieQZ: well google translated what I wrote as "I will no longer talk to you in groin"

Le Summertime

After Graduation

Cynthia´s mom: Ohhh, you speak Spanish?

Later:
Matt: No, I got that stick and wore those ridiculous robes for nothing.
Mabel: I actually got my Master´s in Wizardry and Parcel Tongue.

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Bub: Okay, so what would you rate this song?
Ugly: A four.
Bub: Really? Nah I'm gonna give it a three.
Ugly: ....Does my opinion count at all?

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Bub: So uh, do you know that Jackie is coming on Friday? Why did you invite her?!
Ugly: Ugh...I don't know WHY I did. I mean, she'd been wanting to hang out for awhile now, so...
Bub: Well, is she as bad in person as she is in texts?
Ugly: No, she isn't as bad in person, really.
Bub: Yeah, cuz in person she won't be able to text us.