Meghan: I found a black hair coming from my chin today
Meghan: Did you notice that?
Allison: No, was it from me?
Allison: Or was it growing from your chin
Meghan: No like its growing
Allison: hahah
Meghan: WTF
Meghan: well as long as you didn't notice it

MJ died?

spunky azn 3: one less child molester on the streets

Luvyatobits: HAHAHHAAH

Luvyatobits: yah when i heard i was like MAYBE WE'LL FINALLY FIND OUT THE TRUTH!!!

spunky azn 3: hahah yeah

spunky azn 3: im sure he has crazy fans commiting suicide now that he's dead

Luvyatobits: yup

Luvyatobits: i cant wait till his kids are interviewed and write their first book

spunky azn 3: haha i hope they come out normal

Luvyatobits: ya seriously

Luvyatobits: either way, they are gonna have one hell of a story

spunky azn 3: yea seriously

spunky azn 3: what happens to neverland ranch

Luvyatobits: hahahah

Luvyatobits: what happens in neverland ranch, stays in neverland ranch

spunky azn 3: sounds like u speak from experience

Luvyatobits: HAHHAAHHA

Rrrregae-ton

Javi: "Dame más vaseliiiina....ponme más vaseliiiina."

At the Beach

Ugly: [singing a portion of a song] Can you name that one?
Mabel: Oh, come on, that's lazy man's "Name that Tune."
Ugly: At least it wasn't "Remedial Name that Tune," like earlier with Ching.

--------------------------

[Guy in "Munich" says "What an ugly baby" after his wife gives birth]

Mabel: That's so mean!
Javi: He's just kidding, do you really think anybody would say that about their own kid? I mean, you're the only person I know who calls one of their family members "Ugly"....

--------------------------

[in the car, after a day of being burnt by the sun)

Javi: [in passenger seat, reaching back with his arm, to Mabel] Your leg is hot.
Mabel: Yeah I know.
Ching: (thinking Javi is talking to him) What?
Javi: It's hot.
Ching: Oh.....uh...
Javi: Cuz it's burnt.
Ching: Oh, HER leg!

[hyena laughter all around]

--------------------------

Ching: [pulling up into rest stop] Hey look there's another Chinese restaurant.
Javi: No actually it's a hostal.
Ching: Oh, bwaha, I thought it said "HO TAI RESTAURANT."

(The S and half of the L from HOSTAL are unlit)

--------------------------

Ugly: Would am amoeba say "glub glub" or "womp womp?"

How to Tell Europeans Apart

Sitting outside the Palazzio Pitti, which is closed Mondays, observing all the disappointed tourists

American tourist [annoyed and reading the sign]: So what does that mean? Does that mean they're closed practically all year? So they're only open like the week after Christmas?

Mabel: So the Americans can't read the signs and they start complaining and get angry before they go away.
Javi: And the Spanish are pretty calm and start talking about how there's something similar and even better in Spain.

[blond Northern-European-looking couple arrive, read the sign, and leave silently]

Mabel: Bwaha and the Germans don't say anything at all, they just come and leave.
Javi: They understand that rules are made to be followed.

Estoy de Martes

In Class with Carmen and Marina


Carmen & Marina: [brattily sarcastic] Ooh, this was the game you were talking about? We didn't know, we just found out now.
Mabel [angry Spanish]: Or we can play the game of "copy all of the words we just learned three times," how does that sound to you, hmm??

[after copying for 3 minutes, Carmen passes over her finished sheet, sad and angry, and on the back of the sheet is written:]

"Mabel, No sé si a tí te gusta este juego pero a mi no."
(Mabel, I don't know if you like this game but I sure don't."

---------------------------------

Carmen writes on the board: "We cook chicken" after Marina acts out the words. Then proceeds to draw a box around the words, and a sign post below with a tag that reads "5 euros."

Carmen: La oferta de hoy! (Today's offer!)

---------------------------------

yo: jejeee
Ugly: nobody really laughs like that


---------------------------------

Yo: but seriously, what bug can get into tight pants
Ugly: LOL
i. dont. know.
Yo: lol
dammit
i thought you had all the answers to these things
what good is a tumor twin
if they can't even tell you the answer to that
Ugly: hmm, i dont know the answer to that one either, tumor.
Yo: you AREN'T the wielder of worldly knowledge after all :(
Ugly: tumor's dragging me down
ya big lug!
grow some legs, would you?
Yo: i HAVE
i walk around now
Ugly: lol
scary
Yo: hahaha
Ugly: glub... glub...
Yo: eww

A Different Kind of Chai

Silvia: What are you going to strain the tea with?
David: A sock.
Javi: Bwahahaha or one of my boxers hanging outside.