Stretchable Rubber Body Parts

Bub: He saw these when he was here, like just in a baggie without the toy label and all, and was like....::pick up, stare stare wtf::. I explained to him they were stretchable body parts, and he was just like "I don't wanna hear it....weirdos.."

Ugly: Bwahaha...well YOU'RE the one who's been leaving them all around. I had them put away at least.

Bub:[rofl] You had them put away and organized.

Ugly: In the spot for rubber body parts.

Focus, focus

Bub: [while stringing a guitar] Okay, so then, you wind this up so that the wire goes under for each round.

Ugly: [playing with plastic nose] Hmm, does this look like it's my nose? Or does it just look like a nose on a nose?

Bub: [struggling with strings] Like a nose on a nose.

Ugly: Oh, I know. I'll just cut out this middle part here so it'll fit. [gets scissors]

Bub: I can see that some serious work here is getting done.

I wanna go dancing

While watching a Bollywood version of the Thriller video

Bub: Haha, that's hilarious.

Mel: Do you wanna dance like that?

Bub: Yeah, that looks like it would be fun.

Ugly: You could do it in a basement.

Bub: But I can't do it alone, you guys need to dance too.

Mel: We'll just circle and clap.

At the Jazz Fest

Ugly: I wish they would play something I knew.

Bub: [as a beat starts] Well...maybe they will.

[raucous, poor quality jazz music is in full swing]

Bub: You mean....this ISN'T your favorite song?

Ugly: Bwahahaha...I usually like hearing my songs played one at a time....not all together like this. It's like all the musicians just happen to be onstage at the same time... "Ooh, you're here too. Ooh, I like what you're playing. What is it?"

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Bub: Doesn't the pianist look like Bette Porter?

Ugly: I guess I can see the resemblance.

Bette Porter look-alike: And now we have a surprise for you, ladies and gentlemen.

Bub: Ooh, she has a surprise.

Ugly: [sultrily] Ooh, I have a surprise for you...I'm going to show you mah boobies.

Killer Margaritas

Mel: They were banging on our door trying to come in, but good thing we locked the door. Then they left after a bit. We thought they were going to come rape and pillage us.

Ugly: What is the exact meaning of pillage?

Bub: Like, to steal and burn stuff.

Liz: To destroy everything.

Mel: [gets mango gruel in her nose from laughing]

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Ugly: [to Mel] I could see you as Garfield.

Cat and Mouse

Before cover of "Survivor"

Liz: So, just so you all know, I don't sing like Beyonce, but I'm gonna be attempting it anyway.
Mel: And I sing like the band member whose name no one knows.

After cover of "Survivor"

Mel: So I'm using a cheat sheet today because we had to lower it a half step, cuz Liz was saying how Beyonce was "tearin' her shit up..."

::while starting the next song::

Liz: ::sing sing, voice strangles:: bitch Beyonce....::sing sing::

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At the Chicago Art Institute photo exhibit

Mabel: Dude that looks like it got cut out from a magazine from some hair salon in Chinatown.

Ugly: Haha, yeah...I don't know how some of these got in here, other than they were famous...for something else.

But I am le tired..

Me: le boo
Allison: le ahhh

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Ugly: So we're thinking of having a barbecue on the lake front for labor day.
Me: Wait, you have a barbecue machine?